HORMONES!!

Hey everybody,

     So my hormones are crazy!!  I can laugh about it after, but at the time it's never funny.  I once cried because I was taking the babies tank tops out of the package and a piece of tape fell into the freshly cleaned baby clothing and I had to try to find it.  I unfolded every piece of clothing, even the socks, and re-folded them with an excruciating back ache while flying off the handle at my boyfriend for trying to help; only to find out after doing all of the clothes, that it had fallen right on top.  I also decided that I would wash a load of baby clothes with 2 blankets.  I knew the lint from the blankets would cause a problem on the clothes but I decided to do it anyway, once again, KNOWING it would cause a problem.  After the clothes came out of the dryer covered in lint, I cried for approximately (generous estimate) 45 minutes on the bathroom floor.  Again, my boyfriend tried to help multiple times an I just bit his head off.
     I sound like a bitch, but my boyfriend has this "I'm right listen to me" voice when he talks to me, and I know he's right.  I don't like it when others are right and I'm wrong, that's one of my flaws.  So in the heat of the moment, he makes me VERY upset because I don't want to know he's right, I just want to know he understands where I'm coming from, even though it could be totally irrational.
     I got mad yesterday because I was yelling at him, so he decided not to help me bring baby items upstairs.  I had a bag with me, so I could put the items in the bag and be able to do it myself.  But I thought it was inconsiderate and I wanted his help, and he told me not to yell before he went up in that "I'm right listen to me" voice I hate so much.  I then went to the bedroom and yelled for half an hour about it, when he has to get up early in the morning.
     It takes me plenty of time to realize that what I'm doing is stupid.  Once I realize, I'm the first person to laugh and apologize and poke fun at myself.  Eventually I will learn stress management and inappropriate 12am voice volumes, but right now, I can't help but feel that it keeps me sane to go insane sometimes!  Sometimes to me means at least once a day.  But when it comes to me now, I try to relax and be mellow all the time because the stress isn't good for me or the baby.  Sometimes, I'm more comfortable after a little insanity than I would be after a day of meditation.  Maybe it's just me, but hormones are a crazy pregnancy ride, and I'm on it for the next month.  Maybe I'll learn how to control them for the next one if I try hard enough, but I think this ride is already in motion for baby numero uno!!

        ~Brianna J~